The Good Doctor
I spend a lot of time talking about doctors who aren’t very good at their job. But what does a good doctor look like, exactly?
I’m A Good Doctor
Alright, I’m just going to go ahead and say it. I’m what a good doctor looks like. And here’s why…
Firstly, I hear you. I’m a good listener. I enjoy spending time with people and getting to know them. When they’re sad, I feel sad. When they talk about how they’ve been harmed by other doctors, I get mad. When they’re celebrating a milestone, I celebrate with them.
On the inside, of course. I am a consummate professional, after all.
Just kidding. I’m not. I can’t hide my emotions so I don’t bother trying to. Whilst I’m good at creating and maintaining boundaries with people, I also acknowledge my connection with my patients. I find this kind of distanced “professionalism” kind of toxic. It allows doctors to get away with being cold, unfeeling bastards. Anyway, I digress.
I believe you
Not only do I listen, but I also believe you when you tell me something. If you say it hurts, then it hurts. If you say something is wrong, then something is inevitably wrong.
You might not have the right words to describe what it is, or be able to come up with a diagnosis on your own, but you know when something’s wrong. And I trust you. Which goes hand in hand with believing you.
In addition, I have a compulsive need to validate people. We don’t do that enough as human beings. I think it’s because I was never validated when I was younger, and so I know what it feels like to doubt yourself all the time.
So when you tell me something, I do my best to recognise and affirm that your feelings and opinions are valid and right.
Who Exactly Is The Expert Here?
So first of all, I hear you. Secondly, I strongly believe that we are the experts when it comes to our own bodies. We may need a doctor’s assistance to arrive at a diagnosis or treatment plan, but nobody knows your body better than you do.
The problem is that we have been conditioned to “trust the experts” over our own intuition. If the doctor says there’s nothing wrong, then I guess there’s nothing wrong. Am I right?
No! A doctor can examine you and order a set of investigations. A doctor can look for underlying pathology and use their knowledge to come up with a working diagnosis.
But just because they can’t find anything doesn’t mean there’s “nothing wrong”. It actually means “I haven’t been able to find what’s wrong”. That might be because it’s beyond the capabilities of modern medicine, but so what?
I’m JUST a doctor
The truth is I went to university to study medicine for many years. Then I spent several more years training in lots of departments before I qualified as a GP. After that, I spent 15 years building up my knowledge and expertise. And there is still so much more that I don’t know than stuff I do know. I’m JUST a doctor, after all.
White supremacy works to separate us from our own bodies, from one another, and from the environment around us. Medicine enforces white supremacy by conditioning us to believe that doctors know more about our body than we do.
We’re taught to outsource our bodily autonomy to people with special letters at the end of their names.
Why? For me, autonomy is sacrosanct. Nothing is more important. You have the right to make decisions about your own body, and my job is to provide enough information to ensure that it’s the right choice for you. It’s that simple.
What To Expect From A Good Doctor
A client recently referred to me as their “pocket pitbull”. I had agreed to talk to her doctors on the phone if one of them dared mess with her. It was a joke, but she’s not far off.
It kills me that the number one question I get asked is “how do I advocate for myself at the doctors office?”
Why should anyone need to ask that? Doctors are supposed to be led by their patients. They are supposed to prioritise their patients. They are supposed to respect and believe their patients. We are supposed to advocate for you.
And yet how many times have you caught yourself worrying about whether you’re wasting your doctor’s time, or putting up with their bad behaviour because they’re the doctor and what they say goes?
You Deserve Better
Let me make something very clear, when you consult with me, I will always believe you. I will never blame you. I don’t get to decide what is and isn’t normal when it comes to your body. You won’t need to advocate for yourself with me because I am always on your side.
When you consult with me, there’s no need to perform – you can just be yourself. You don’t have to be in control either. You can cry, shout, swear, and go off on as many tangents as you like. No need to remember every little detail or try to persuade me to take you seriously. That’s a given.
You’ll be a seen as a whole person not numbers on a screen or a specimen under a microscope. And whilst this may seem like a lot, it’s actually the bare minimum you should expect from your doctor.
Becoming The Fat Doctor
I’m an odd mix of different personality traits. My autism shines when it comes to understanding the human body and how it works. I’m a naturally curious person, and I won’t just take someone else’s word for it. I need to go to the source, and figure things out for myself. It’s why I can lose hours at a time reading study after study. I won’t stop until I get it.
At the same time, I’m the type who follows their gut and trusts their instincts more than textbooks. When it comes to your body, I want you to trust your instincts too. So I tend to respond to your energy and go with the flow.
If you’re into human design, then mine is a 5/1 profile (Heretic/Investigator). I need to make sense of the world and offer practical insights and solutions. I’m also a generator, and I have the energy to master what I love doing.
How I got here
I have 20 years of medical experience under my belt. And trust me – it’s an extra-large belt 😏. Before I became a GP, I worked in paediatrics, OBGYN, psychiatry and emergency medicine. I have been the diabetic and asthma lead GP for my practice, and have done a lot of work in mental health.
At the same time, I have firsthand experience of navigating the healthcare system as a Fat person. I’ve been told I can’t have surgery due to my BMI. I have dealt with fatphobic doctors, nurses, midwifes, physiotherapists, dieticians…
It’s no wonder that I’m so passionate about what I do. I like the detective work that comes with being a diagnostician. I also like solving problems and addressing people’s needs. Oh, and unlike a lot of doctors, I have actually heard of conditions like EDS and lipoedema. Over the years, I’ve learned to work from an intersectional and trauma informed framework.
I Love Being A Doctor But I Don’t like Doctors
Man, I love being a doctor. And I’m so glad I get to practice the way I want to now that I no longer answer to the powers that be.
Once upon a time, I had ten minutes with each of my patients. I was expected to adhere to local and national guidance when it came to weight loss promotion. I was surrounded by a group of people whose moral compass pointed in a very different direction to my own.
Now I get to do things my way. My management is centred around your beliefs rather than the medical profession’s. I can take the time to address every one of your concerns and questions. I take a holistic approach, meaning that I don’t just focus on treating the physical symptoms but consider your mental, emotional, social, spiritual and environmental wellbeing too.
A final note
All of your concerns are valid and nothing to be ashamed of. I base my suggestions around your expectations and needs. No matter what your previous investigations show, your symptoms are real, and I will never dismiss them or blame them on your weight.
I also don’t mind admitting when I don’t know something or if I’ve gotten something wrong. I’ve learned to leave my ego at the door! I believe that trust should be earned, not automatically given, which is why it’s important that I am always honest with you.
Nothing makes me happier than witnessing a person take their power back when it comes to their health and wellbeing. And I’m always looking for new clients to work with in a variety of different ways.
Think this might be you? Then maybe it’s time to book a free discovery call (aka a mini check-up) and let’s figure out if we’re a good fit.