Lately, I’ve been noticing a recurring theme, both in my own life and in the people I work with. The festive season isn’t all comfort and joy. For many it’s complex and overwhelming. I’ve been speaking to people who are hardworking, dependable, and determine. And they all have one thing in common – they all need to reclaim the holidays.
Sound familiar? You’re not alone.
The pressure to meet everyone’s expectations while juggling your own is heavy, and when you throw in the constant messages about food, body image, and weight, it’s no wonder the holidays feel more like a marathon than a celebration.
This feels both personal and something I’m noticing in my work as well. Which makes it a perfect topic for a blog post. So let’s talk about who’s struggling this holiday season, and why. Let’s dig into the exhaustion, the pressure, and the challenges of navigating a time of year that often forgets to ask, “How are you doing?”
The High Achiever
You’re the one everyone turns to. At work, you’re the first in and the last to leave. When things go wrong, you’re the one people count on. At home, you’re the fixer—the one who smooths over arguments, keeps traditions going, buys the gifts, manages the family calendar, and makes sure everyone is pulling their weight.
The "messy" one
Maybe you’re not the reliable, steady person you once were. Perhaps you’ve stepped back from work, or you just can’t push yourself like you used to. Even if you’re not the high achiever you want to be or the “perfect” version of yourself, you’re still working so hard to hold it all together.
How do you manage to keep going when everything feels impossible? Maybe you’re living with a chronic health issue or an invisible disability that no one sees but impacts everything you do. Maybe you’ve survived toxic relationships and carry the scars others can’t see, but are just as real as any visible injury.
Letting people in feels too vulnerable. It leaves you feeling exposed.
Instead, you’ve mastered the art of wearing that mask. The strong one that hides the real, vulnerable person who needs help but is too afraid to ask. And I get it. When you’re living in a marginalized body, you don’t want to give people more reasons to judge.
And, wearing that mask is exhausting. It drains you emotionally, and if you’re already in a toxic relationship or dealing with loneliness, the holidays only amplify those feelings. You might be surrounded by people, but still feel disconnected, like you’re constantly performing and never truly being seen.
Asking for help feels unsafe, and even when you’re holding everything together with sheer willpower, you know the cracks are starting to show. Chronic pain or fatigue makes it even harder to keep going. Yet, you continue to put on a brave face, pretending everything is fine.
The empath
You feel everything deeply. You pick up on the tension in the room, notice everyone’s emotional needs, and take it all on as if it’s your responsibility to fix it.
For many of us, this role stems from childhood. Perhaps you, like me, were raised by a narcissist, always anticipating their needs to avoid the consequences of falling short. You became an expert at reading subtle cues, and that skill has stuck with you. But with it comes the overwhelming feeling that it’s your job to manage everyone else’s emotions, well-being, and happiness.
And that’s exhausting. Trying to fix everyone else means you end up carrying their emotional load, leaving nothing for yourself. You don’t just attend family gatherings, you manage them. You notice when something’s off or when someone’s upset, and instinctively try to fix it. But in doing so, you lose yourself in the process.
At this time of the year, the food noise gets very loud. If you’re an empath who wants to enjoy those special holiday dishes, the guilt others project on to you makes it hard. Even when your family loves you, their insecurities, fatphobia, or discomfort with their own bodies can make you feel like you’re carrying more than your fair share.
It’s easier to absorb their struggles than confront your own. You wear everyone else’s emotional baggage because you don’t know how not to. It takes a toll—these “joyous” occasions often feel more like a burden than a celebration. The weight you’re carrying isn’t physical—it’s deeply emotional, and it’s draining.
reclaim the holiday reality
The festive season are tricky. We’ve been raised on a diet of Christmas movies, Hallmark cards, and Coca Cola adverts. the holidays are sold to us as a perfect, magical time.
There’s this myth of the holiday season: families coming together, an abundance of food and gifts and merriment. Sure, there’s tension, but everyone loves each other. And then there’s the reality.
Let’s be honest: the holidays aren’t easy to navigate at the best of times. But this year, everything feels that much harder. Family pressure, building resentment, and that feeling of having to force yourself to be cheerful when you’re really not—it all adds up. Add to that the current geopolitical landscape, and it feels like a ticking time bomb!
The high achievers are busy managing work, family, and everything in between. But they’re so busy juggling everyone else’s needs that they’ve forgotten to take care of themself. When they hear the words self-care, they probably picture bubble baths or spa days. A few luxurious hours to yourself may sound nice, but that’s not going to fix the real problem; you’re burnt out.
The messy ones have been running on fumes for so long, they don’t even know any other way of living. They are emotionally drained, physically wiped out, and spiritually depleted. By the time January rolls around, chances are they will be flat on their back, utterly spent from giving everything to everyone else and neglecting their own needs. But what choice do they have?
For the empaths, family gatherings can feel like emotional landmines. One wrong step leads to an explosion. They are intimately familiar with the way a single look from a family member or friend can make them feel so small, no matter how successful or grown-up they are. The subtle (or not-so-subtle) remarks about their body make them feel like they’re 13 again, struggling to find their place in the world. It’s frustrating, demoralizing, and exhausting.
the holiday health tax
When you’re neglecting your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs, you put your health at risk. Chronic stress, poor sleep, and a lack of time for self-care can weaken your immune system, raise your blood pressure, increase anxiety, and leave you feeling drained.
Your body and mind need rest, support, and nourishment, but when you’re in survival mode, it’s hard to prioritize anything other than the next task on your never-ending list.
Even if you’ve reached the point where you just want to stay home, switch everything off, and avoid it all, that’s easier said then done. Because of the social pressure, and the family expectations, the incessant need to show up for everyone else.
For many people, it’s easier to just go along with it. Because if you let people down, it will only make things worse in the long term. The passive-aggressive comments, the guilt-trips, the endless cycle.
So, you keep going. You put everyone else’s needs first, as always. It’s exhausting.
beyond the holiday season
So, if you’re listening and thinking, “Yeah, I get it—this resonates,” but you’re also wondering, “What now?”—I hear you. The weight of it all, both literal and emotional, can feel overwhelming this time of year. But here’s the thing: you don’t have to carry it alone.
Whether it’s the pressure to be someone you’re not, or the constant emotional rollercoaster of the holidays, it’s vital to recognize that your emotional health is just as important as your physical health. And the good news is that you can take steps to make things better.
If you’ve already checked out my course Redefining Health, you know health isn’t just about weight or diet. It’s about your relationship to yourself, your relationship eith others, and your relationship with the world around you.
This holiday season, and beyond, I want to invite you to take a step back and really listen to yourself. What do you need to feel supported and nourished—not just physically, but emotionally? What boundaries do you need to set to protect your peace? This might mean prioritizing time for yourself, disconnecting from toxic family dynamics, or simply saying no to things that don’t serve you.
reclaim the holiday season
This holiday season, Fat, Festive and Fierce isn’t just another “holiday survival guide.” It’s the only program that combines science, lived experience, my expertise as a weight inclusive doctor, and my personal coaching style. I’ve been where you are—juggling high expectations, battling food guilt, and feeling like you’re performing just to survive.
This program is for the high achiever, the messy one, and the empath who are ready to break free from the pressure to be perfect and embrace the holidays on their own terms.
Unlike other programs that focus primarily on food, body image, or mental health, Fat, Festive and Fierce blends it all together with the fact-checked tools you need to navigate the season with confidence.
It’s not just about managing your diet or setting boundaries; it’s about creating a holiday experience that truly supports your whole self—mentally, emotionally, and physically.
This isn’t one-size-fits-all advice. I bring my expertise, lived experience, and an unapologetic approach to help you take control. If you’re ready to let go of the holiday stress, step into your power, and enjoy the season without compromising your well-being, Fat, Festive and Fierce is where you belong.