Finally, a Community Designed for How Your Brain Actually Works
the weighting room
Where neurodivergent fat people find connection, support, and belonging without performance or obligation
I Tried to Do Community the 'Right' Way and It Nearly Broke Me...
I know I need support. I know I don’t want to feel alone. But socializing drains my energy in ways I can’t always predict or control.
I want to be able to ask for help when I need it but my rejection sensitivity means I spiral when people don’t respond the way I expected.
I don’t want to feel pressured to perform or engage when I’m masking just to get through the day. I want to feel welcomed and seen without having to pretend to enjoy the chit chat and social niceties.
I like structure and predictability, but I need to be able to opt in and out depending on how I’m feeling on any given day.
Oh, and thanks to fluctuating hormone levels, my working memory is s**t. I can’t keep track or complicated systems or remember to check twelve different places for updates.
I want low commitment. I want somewhere I don’t feel like I owe people something just for existing in the space.
I don’t always remember to check in with people: not because I don’t care but because I’m off in my own world and hyper-focussing on something.
I have all notifications turned off on all my apps because sensory overload is a thing. Which means I’m always missing out on updates and then I feel guilty for not responding.
There are times when I want to engage with people, and times when I just need to withdraw completely to avoid burnout. But most communities I’ve been come with a certain expectation that I’m not able to meet.
So I designed a community that actually works for neurodivergent, burned-out, perimenopausal Fat people like me.
Because I figured if I’m struggling with typical online communities, there are others who feel the same way.
What Makes This Community Different?
Most online communities are designed for neurotypical people who don’t experience:
- Executive dysfunction (remembering to check in, tracking multiple channels, following complex systems)
- Rejection sensitivity (the terror of posting something and getting no response)
- Sensory overload (constant notifications, visual chaos, too many conversations at once)
- Social exhaustion (pretending to enjoy small talk, the crash after performing “normal” for too long)
- Masking fatigue (pretending to be enthusiastic when you’re barely functioning)
- Working memory issues (losing track of ongoing conversations and feeling behind)
- Burnout (having absolutely nothing left to give)
The Weighting Room is designed around these realities, not in spite of them.
Here's What That Actually Looks Like:
A simple timetable of body doubling sessions that don’t require socialising. Show up. Do your thing alongside other people. Leave. That’s it. No networking, no icebreakers, no performing connection.
One email each week with everything you need. Every Monday you’ll get a mini pep talk to set you up for the week alongside a reminder of what’s on offer. All your session links in one convenient place so your working memory doesn’t have to track anything.
Opt in to as many sessions as you like but relax in the knowledge that nobody’s expecting you. Bad brain day? Don’t come. Burned out? Take a break. You’ll always be welcome but no one’s tracking attendance.
No RSVP required. Just show up if you can. I’m doing these sessions anyway – whether it’s just me or the entire community – so you can rest assured that you’ll never be letting anyone down.
Cameras off by default. No pressure to be ‘on’. No masking required. No sensory demands of managing how your face looks while also trying to participate. Perfect for lurkers everywhere!
Each session is self-contained. Missed last week? You didn’t miss anything important. Nothing carries over. Nothing to catch up on. Every session starts fresh.
A single messaging app with clear boundaries. Messages disappear after 3 days. No social debt. No expectation to respond. Post when you need support, ignore it when you need space. That’s the whole thing.
Explicit communication is encouraged. “Just venting, don’t need advice.” “Actually looking for suggestions.” “Need to feel seen.” We’re not making people guess what we want or need – just tell us.
This isn’t about making typical community “more accessible.” This is a completely different structure designed for how our brains actually work.
Here's what to expect...
The Format That Makes This Work
Every session follows the same predictable, low-demand structure (because executive dysfunction is real and we need routines we can actually remember):
- Brief hello and optional intention setting in chat
- Shared activity begins
- Cameras off (no masking required, sensory processing accommodated)
- Brief optional check-out at end
- Sessions last an hour each and you can turn up when you want and stay for as long as you like
What you don’t have to do:
❌ Show up to every session or explain why you’re not coming
❌ Turn your camera on
❌ Engage in small talk (we skip straight to the real stuff)
❌ Respond to other people’s stuff (no social debt)
❌ Perform enthusiasm (chronic fatigue and burnout are real)
❌ Remember to check in between sessions
❌ Catch up on anything you missed (each session is self-contained)
Showing up IS participation. Lurking IS connection. You don’t have to earn your place here.
This Is For You If:
- Are tired of being the only fat person in spaces that claim to be “body positive” but you’re also exhausted from masking in neurotypical fat activism spaces
- Need people who understand the complexity of existing in a fatphobic world and want authentic connection without having to educate people about the realities of weight stigma (you need people who just get it)
- You’re late-diagnosed autistic and/or ADHD, and finally understanding why typical communities never worked
- You want connection without the performance of masking
- Your executive function is fried and you can’t handle one more complicated system
- You need structure but also flexibility for low energy days
- You’re burned out and/or perimenopausal and everything is too much
- You want deep conversations without navigating small talk hell
- Your rejection sensitivity makes typical social media unbearable
- You feel isolated but also need lots of alone time to recover
- Sensory overload means social media apps are draining
What You Won't Find Here:
- Weight loss advice or diet talk. Ever.
- Toxic positivity or spiritual bypassing
- Pressure to engage when you’re burned out
- Judgment about your body or your capacity
- Expectation to mask or perform neurotypicality
- Small talk or surface-level connection
- Complicated systems that require working memory you don’t have
- Social obligations that trigger rejection sensitivity
- Drama (I will protect this space ruthlessly)
What You Will Find:
- Other fat people who get it
- Other neurodivergent people who get it
- Structure that respects your capacity at any given time
- Accommodation for sensory needs
- Explicit permission not to mask
- Deep meaningful conversation when you want it
- Companionship without social debt or rejection sensitivity triggers
- A place where burnout is expected and accommodated, not judged
- A place where you belong, no explanation or performance required
Body Doubling
Also known as parallel play or co-working
Show up with whatever task you need to accomplish. Work projects absolutely count, but so does eating breakfast and taking a shower, folding laundry, or tackling that stack of paperwork you’ve been avoiding for three months (definitely not speaking from personal experience here). We state our intentions in chat, work independently with cameras off, and do a quick optional check-in at the end. You’re not alone, but you’re not performing either.
Book Club
My work-in-progress, read aloud
I’m writing a book about weight stigma and fat liberation, and I’m reading it to you chapter by chapter as I write it. After each chapter, I’ll invite conversation about the themes that came up – but there’s absolutely no expectation to participate in discussion. Listen, lurk, engage in chat if you want to. You’ll get early access and help shape the final product. Show up for the chapters that interest you, skip the ones that don’t.
Crafting Circle
Hands busy, brain happy
Play, relaxation, and creativity aren’t luxuries; they’re essential. Bring whatever crafting project makes your hands happy: crochet, knitting, drawing, coloring, origami, building Lego, whatever. Or use this session as body doubling time for something else entirely. We’re just here together, making things or doing things, existing alongside each other. No need to show your work unless you want to. No judgment about skill level or what counts as “crafting.”
Stargazing
Spiritual exploration for all levels
I’m a doctor, not an astrologer or tarot reader – but I’m exploring spirituality and I want to invite others on the same journey. Each session I’ll share what’s happening astrologically that week, then we go off-camera to reflect, journal, or pull cards however we want. Complete beginners welcome. Seasoned practitioners welcome. Everyone in between welcome. Optional chat discussion afterwards for those who want to share insights.
Also included...
Weekly Pep Talk Email
Every week I’ll remind you that you’re doing fine, actually. Plus all the session links for the week so your working memory doesn’t have to track anything. One email. All the info. That’s it.
Optional Signal Group Chat
Want a simple space to post “I’m struggling today” or “check our my latest purchase”? Join the Signal group for peer support between sessions.
Designed to avoid common AuDHD struggles:
✓ Messages disappear after 3 days (no overwhelming backlogs to catch up on)
✓ No social debt (post without owing responses)
✓ State what you need explicitly (“just venting” vs “looking for advice” – no guessing required)
✓ Single thread, not 47 channels (keep your notifications off ideally)
✓ Mute whenever you need to (sensory breaks encouraged)
✓ No masking required (you can engage or withdraw freely)
I’m there too, but this is peer-to-peer, not a place where anyone is expected to perform or where any of us are expected to solve everything. Sometimes I’ll need to take a step back and that’s a reflection of my energy levels as opposed to my commitment to this community.
Membership: £15/month
Why is this a paid community?
I’ve been part of countless free fat liberation spaces – and I’ve watched nearly all of them become toxic cesspits filled with drama, diet talk disguised as “health concerns,” and exhausting performative activism. Here’s what I’ve learned: people take care of the things they invest in.
A paid membership means I can keep our numbers intentionally small and personally moderate every interaction. It means boundaries get respected because everyone chose to be here. It means I can sustain this work without burning out – and burnout serves no one.
What your membership actually gets you:
The practical stuff:
- Four weekly sessions (show up to any/all)
- Weekly email with all session links and a pep talk
- Optional Signal group for peer support
- Early access to my book as I write it
The real stuff:
- A community small enough to feel safe
- Structure designed for neurodivergent brains
- A space I can protect ruthlessly from diet culture and drama
- Permission to exist without performing
- Someone who won’t stop doing this work because they’re financially tapped out
And honestly? Some of you are looking for a way to support my work beyond just consuming free content. This is that way. Your membership means I can keep creating, keep fighting weight stigma, keep showing up – without having to choose between this work and paying my bills.
I’m envisioning a community of people who understand without needing explanation. Connection without social debt. A space that’s actively protected. And the sustainability to keep it that way.
Monthly billing, cancel anytime. No long-term commitment required.
P.S. Remember that this is peer support, not medical advice. For medical questions, consider a 1:1 consultation.
Ready to Find Your People?
Membership is intentionally limited to keep this space safe and sustainable. If this sounds like what you need, welcome home.
Questions?
Q: What if I can't make all the sessions?
A: That’s completely expected and normal. Show up when you can. There’s no attendance tracking, no FOMO, no falling behind. Each session is self-contained.
Q: What if I just want to lurk?
A: Perfect. Lurking is participating and since “camera off” us the default mode, you won’t feel like the odd one out. Your presence matters even if you never type a single word.
Q: I'm worried I won't participate 'enough' to justify the cost.
A: Showing up when you can IS enough. This isn’t a productivity challenge or a participation competition. Some weeks you’ll engage deeply. Some weeks you’ll just lurk. Some weeks you won’t come at all. All of that is exactly how it’s supposed to work.
Q: What if I need to cancel my membership?
A: You can cancel anytime, no questions asked, no judgment. Life happens, capacity changes, budgets shift. If you need to step away, step away.
Q: Is this therapy or medical advice??
A: No. This is peer support and community. For medical questions, book a 1:1 consultation or see your healthcare provider. For therapy needs, work with a therapist. This is connection, not treatment.
Q: What if I'm not officially diagnosed autistic/ADHD?
A: You don’t need a diagnosis to know your brain works differently. If this structure sounds like what you need, you belong here.
Got any further questions? Then please Email me. I’m here to help you navigate your health journey with dignity and respect.
The Weighting Room is a peer support community and does not provide medical advice or professional counseling services.
Ready to join?
Please note that membership is intentionally limited to maintain the intimate, safe community we’ve built. Monthly billing means you can cancel anytime.